Fight or Flight
by LovePeaceEquality20
Summary: The inner musings of Alison during episode 7x10 and beyond.
1. Chapter 1

Hi Everyone. It has been so long since I've written anything but I really want to get back into it. Please let me know if you like or dislike this. I may continue or write a longer story. This is only edited by me so I am sorry for any mistakes. Emison is a new obsession of mine and I hope I did them justice.

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Alison isn't sure why this hurts so much. All she knows is that she can hardly look at Paige, well she really can hardly look at Emily with Paige. She can barely stand her presence but the visual of Paige with her hands on Emily is unbearable. It causes an unpleasant turning of her stomach. She can feel the blood thrumming through her veins. It almost feels like her flight or fight instincts are setting in. That somewhere beyond her minds recognition something is telling her that she needs to fight for something. That maybe there is something here at stake. But when she sees Paige run her hand over Emily's back she doesn't fight. Instead she runs.

Later that evening when the dust has started to settle, when they at least know that Hanna is okay. Alison thinks that maybe she might have a moment of reprieve. Emily is staying the night and Alison is trying not to think about why that makes her feel so unsettled. There is also the weight of a possibility on her she really can't believe the universe could be that cruel. Certainly it wouldn't happen now. Not when her life is once again in limbo. Not when her heart feels like it's been tethered and beat. The universe however has never been too kind to Alison. This is confirmed once again by two little lines.

She can't remember a time when she had ever felt so alone. The gravity of the decisions she faced immediately descended upon her. What should she do? How could she be a good mother? When she had no example. She had done everything alone. But how was she supposed to do this. She hadn't even meant to confess this to Emily but she felt it tumble out her mouth anyway.

Sitting so close to her at the end of her bed. It's so easy to continue to talk. It almost feels that she is outside of her body watching as her fears come flowing steadily out. The emotion coming to a fever pitch. She can feel her eyes start to swell with tears, almost gasping when she sees such genuine concern reflected in Emily's. Why it's always been so easy to let Emily see her weakness ,when she's never allowed her self to be anything other than strong, she has never been sure.

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Looking into those eyes that are so dark, but for Ali have always been so light, she can almost feel her heart start to be sewn together. Emily tells her she isn't alone. For some reason in that moment everything makes sense. She has never been alone. Not even in those years spent on the run. Because even then she had the memory, and the possibility of Emily Fields. Once again her veins start to thrum with energy. This time the feeling that comes over her feels like a pleasant wave almost at its crescendo. She wants so badly to kiss her ,to claim her but she doesn't.

Emily spends the next hour or so just holding her hand. Offering that silent support that has always come so naturally to her. She also offers Ali a distraction, picking out a movie and popping popcorn. They sit so close together on the couch that Alison can feel the heat of her thigh up against hers. Emily drapes her arm over the back of her but doesn't dare to touch her. It isn't too long after the movie begins that the weight of everything brings the tears back into her eyes. The emotion and the proximity of the other girl makes Alison ache.

She has felt this ache before- In the library, on the run, that night in her bedroom. It feels almost like she misses the girl even though she is right next to her. Being her friend doesn't seem like enough. It doesn't feel right that she can't be closer to her. That in their relationships current state it isn't okay for Alison to kiss her. That she can't press her body into the couch. It is time to fight or it's time to flee. But this time as Emily wipes the tears so gently from her eyes she doesn't run. Instead she fights. She leans in and kisses her. And when Emily-sweet, sweet Emily –attempts to run.. .Ali doesn't let her. Instead she leans in again and this time feels her respond. It isn't unexpected and it isn't surprising that she can literally feel her heart beat out of her chest. The tingles shooting from her lips downwards. This time the feeling in her stomach is nothing but pleasant, does nothing but cause an urgency to well up inside of her. As she pushes her hands into silky brown, and her body closer to Emily. She feels as if the fight is over. She is home, she is not alone.


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you all so much for the feedback on the last chapter. I am really enjoying getting back into writing. Please let me know if there is anything you'd like to see with this story, or in a separate one shot.

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The night is finally quiet. It had been a whirlwind few days for all of the girls. With Hanna's "disappearance" and Spencer being shot there had hardly been anytime to think. So as Alison and Emily are sitting in the silence of Emily's car the kiss they shared finally has the starring role in Alison's thoughts. It's crazy to think that, that kiss which had been so _amazing_ hasn't been constantly plaguing her mind. It did come with a lot of baggage after all. But It might have been because her and Emily hadn't really been acting any different since. They have been just as connected, just as touchy, and just as close as always. In fact Allison doesn't think any thing of taking her hand and gently placing it on top of Emily's that is resting on the gear shift. She doesn't think anything of the tingle that shoots up her arm either. However, Emily's next words to her do give her pause.

" I think I'm going to go back to Hanna's tonight."

Alison would turn to look at Emily if she wasn't of course already looking at her.

" Why?" She doesn't mean to sound desperate but Emily had stayed at her house everyday for the last week. It had started to feel a little more like home with her in it.

"Well I just don't want to take advantage. We don't live together." Alison can't help but wonder if the real reason is that maybe Emily needs some space. That maybe that is what she is too nice to say. She also wonders when she became so self conscious.

But since the thought of spending even one night not in her presence makes her ache, she decides to be be brave.

" I understand if you need some time alone. But I'd really like it if you'd stay."

Emily's lips turn up into a beautiful smile then. It makes Alison's breath get stuck somewhere deep in her lungs.

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Getting ready for bed each night had turned in to an easy routine. This night something feels different. Maybe it's because they actually talked to Spencer,they are almost sure that she will be okay and that weight has been lifted from their minds. Now, Emily almost seems nervous. She has dropped her pajamas no less than two times since pulling them from the drawer. And while most nights she would just change here in the bedroom with no regard to where Alison is, tonight she hastily ran to the closed door of the bathroom.

As for Alison , too exhausted to do much else, she just stripped down to her tank top and underwear and slipped under the covers. The sheets feel cold on her skin but she thinks that the chill that runs through her has little to do with the cold. Something about tonight and the fact that Emily's warm body will be joining her in _this_ bed soon, is doing something to Alison.

The bathroom door opens and Emily emerges looking sheepish in her baseball tee and pajama shorts. Alison immediately notices her legs as she walks and the way her forearms flex as she braces them against the bed before climbing in. She's staring at her, she knows she is, but Emily still hasn't even looked at her. Before Emily can reach to turn the lamp off next to her, she is stopped by a hand on her thigh. Alison trailing her thumb up and down it for the briefest of moments.

" Em. What's wrong?"

The quiet "nothing" that she utters would be believable if she didn't look so terrified still. Ali might not push any farther if it wasn't for the darker shade that Emily's eyes have taken on. Alison's never backed down before, she almost always gets what she wants. And if the throbbing below her stomach, and the yearning in her heart are any indication she really wants Emily. So she starts to move the hand on her thigh again, slowly. She takes Emily's face and turns it towards her. The fingers of her right hand brush gently over her lips and then down her throat.

" Do I scare you Emily?" She almost could laugh at the hesitant nod of Emily's head, if she didn't need so badly to be on the same page as her. If it didn't actually terrify her that maybe Emily didn't' need her as badly.

" Are you attracted to me?" Emily swallows thickly at this but Ali can see it reflected in her eyes so she pushes forward again.

" Do you want me?" This time a little intake of breath. One hand is drawing patterns over Emily's exposed collarbone, Ali uses her other hand to take Emily's hand and move it up and over her own ribs to her chest.

" Can you feel this?" She hopes that she can feel the erratic beating of her heart. That maybe she knows just how scared Ali is too. That if she is honest she is absolutely terrified. Alison DiLaurentis doesn't do scared. She doesn't do unsure but with Emily nothing is certain. They are just friends with a hint of something more. And now something more is far from enough for Alison.

So she whispers" kiss me" so quietly she doubts Emily can even hear. Feels the fear slowly disappear with the touch of emily's lips on hers. Immediately her arms come up to dig themselves into Emily's luxurious hair. It feels so soft and silky beneath her fingers and she can't help the gentle tug or the moan that slips out of her mouth.

Emily is absolutely intoxicating and while they have all the time in the world, everything just feels so urgent. It's what makes the quick removal of her own shirt and Emily's seem so necessary. When she runs her eyes and hands down Emily's chest and toned stomach, it's hard to imagine that it's been years since she's had this privilege. When she takes hold of her wandering hands and pins them and her to the bed, the thrumming of her body almost becomes too much.

And when Alison looks into the darkness of Emily's eyes, she can't see the fear there anymore. She sees only want, only acceptance, only desire, and maybe a hint of that unnamed emotion. She knows it's that emotion, so much more than desire, that is reflected in her own. It's the heady combination of the two that drives Alison on. It's this feeling of Emily being _hers,_ only hers. Of Emily being so much more than just her friend that makes Alison feel complete. It's the rush of driving Emily to the edge and over that makes her feel whole. It's the feeling of her in her arms, the heady scent of her hair, the feeling that they are so much more than just this moment,that makes Alison feel like she could fly. After all these years on the run, she is finally home.


End file.
